حاجات من بلوجي القديم............

The Swinging..

Friday, November 9, 2007

I decided that I don't want to marry..and that I will be ok without a man in my life..Well that desicion lasts two weeks!!!!!

Then I discovered that I really can't live without a true love in my life..not just any man..Yes I believe that there someone for everyone out there..But this is only-I think- comes to those who believes and waits..

However this is difficult in our society where every girl is expected to get married before 24yrs old-seriosly-....hard world Iam living in..all my class is getting married or engaged..and it doesn't bother me as much as it makes me wonder did all theses find their soulmates??
How could they manage to choose easily and smoothly??

I want a man to refesh my soul...lighten my life..make every moment with him is like a treasure that we steal from the world..
It's not the need of love-altough it's everything for me-but also company,protection,safety...Things you can only find it in a right man..

My father died when I was little..so I didn't really get the image of a man at home..I got engaged once..very tradtional thing..no feelings..pressure..The classic stuff that should be between any two engaged dperson as our society defines..and I hated it..
So I kind of have a complex...I don't think I can find the man I want..

From a long while I thought that someone has feeling for me but It has been now 6 years and he never never tried to tell me anything..And that created asense of insult inside me coz I really had feelings for him and I thought that.... Am I not the important to you to make a move??
Or are you just having some fun??

Till now I really don't understand what he does..and why do I keep sensing that he has feelings for me although I have nothing to prove it..

I think it's that romantic space in my head creating all this nonsense....