finding neverland......

Iam living in a world with so many people....
yet still alone.....and that's a decision I took...because I lost hope of spending my life with someone I will be really loving...because I finally got to convince myself that there is so no such thing as love...

iam picking up fights with my mother.......
Iam having pains all over my body...
Iam intentionally doing stuff that hurts me physically......
The depression is now replaced by ANGER......
and Iam really mean when Iam angry.....
I say all the wrong words and I do all the wrong things....

but I wasn't always like that......
I was the calmest person on earth.....and It was very damn difficult to make nervous..and I always managed to shut up when iam so I won't make it worse,,,,

now

Iam quite the opposite...

I have turned to that cranky can't stand .......

And Iam feeling that It won't get any better...
not soon at least...