Round Exam one..

I have an exam withing 5 days..
I have work hard to convince myself to study..Like I have lost the ability or something..I even made my own time organizer printed out..with weekly and monthly schedules for plans..I hope I won't stray from it this time..
I have been living a state of depression which is a very normal thing in medical student life..The main problem is that there are sometime when the depression increases and all the compensatory mechanisms fail to buffer it..
That time it was something..No studying ..no feeling guilty ..like it is my right not to study..I have tried to solve that weird thing using every trick left in my brain..But I became resistant..I went to training to Dr.Ibrahim Elfiky to try to find a motive...But I didn't...Then just like that I remembered high school..Why I choose to goto medical school..I t wasn't only the grades but Iam connected to the human body..The things that happens in..Man I like what Iam studying..So why now?....Why bailing out on the last year?
I just couldn't find a reason not to study and million reason that I should study..
anther thing is that I definitely know who Iam..what Iam capable of..why waste it?? why letting myself go nothing when I can be anything I want or even bigger..
I started today with light reading..But I always start light..
The thing is that I started to realize that I have an execution problem ..I plan very well.I think very well..I just don't do anything..
And I start from here..